Dowry

[QUALITIES CONDUCIVE TO A HAPPY CONJUGAL LIFE]

[Dowry]

The fourth quality is that her dowry should be small. The Messenger* of God declared that “The best women are those whose faces are the most beautiful and whose dowries are the smallest.”³⁸ He enjoined against excessiveness in dowries.” The Messenger* of God married one of his wives for a dowry

of ten dirhams⁴⁰ and household furnishings that consisted of a hand mill, a jug, a pillow made of skin stuffed with palm fibers,” and a stone ('iliyy);⁴² in the case of another, he feasted with two measures⁴³ of barley;” and for another, with two measures of dates and two of mush (sawiq).⁴⁵

'Umar* [also] used to enjoin against excessive dowries and used to say, “In getting married and in marrying of his daugh­ters, the Messenger* of God never spent more than 400 dir­hams.”“ If paying excessive dowries for women were a virtue, the Messenger* of God would have been the first to do so. One of the companions of the Messenger* of God was married for a date-pit of gold equal to five dirhams .⁴⁷ Sa'aid b. al-Musayyab married his daughter to Abu Hurayrah* for two dirhams. He then took her personally to him by night, let her in through the door, then departed. Seven days later, he came back and greeted her. Even if he [Sa'id] had married for ten dirhams to be differ­ent from the rest of the ulema, there would be nothing wrong with his act.

A khabar states that “a woman's blessing is in marrying and in bearing children quickly, ^'14' and “in the reasonableness of her dowry. ^114' He also said, “The most blessed among them are the ones with the smallest dowries.”⁵⁰

Just as it is undesirable for the woman's dowry to be exces­sive, it is undesirable for the man to ask about the possessions of the woman. Marriage should never be motivated by avidity for wealth. Al-Thawri⁵¹ said, “Should one marry and ask `What does the woman possess?' know ye that he is a thief; and should a person give them a present, it should not be with the purpose of forcing them to reciprocate with more; likewise, should they give him a present, the expectation of receiving more [than they gave] is immoral. Exchanging gifts is desirable, and results in friendship.” The Prophet* said, “If you exchange gifts, you will love each other.”⁵² As pertains to seeking more, it is included in the words of the Almighty: “And show not favor, seeking worldly gain” [Qur’an  74:6], that is to say, give [not] in order to receive more; also in the Almighty's words: “That which ye give in usury in order that it may increase on (other) people's prop­erty” [30:39], for usurious interest is the increase, and that [giving a gift] is an attempt to increase the principal, though it is not usurious. All such attempts are detested and are regarded as heretical in marriage. For they resemble trading and gambling, and their aim corrupts marriage