Piety

[QUALITIES CONDUCIVE TO A HAPPY CONJUGAL LIFE]

[Piety]

That she should be virtuous and religious is the most fundamental requisite, and to that end [special] care must be taken. For, if her religious principles are too weak to give her the strength to be virtuous and constant,¹⁹she will humiliate her husband, disgrace him among people, trouble his heart with jealousy, and thereby render his life miserable. Should he succumb to passion and jealousy, he would remain in trial and tribulation. Should he, on the other hand, follow the path of permissiveness, he would be apathetic toward his religion and honor and would be guilty of lacking zeal and pride. Also, if she is beautiful but corrupt,

she will be the cause of greater tribulation; for then it becomes difficult for the husband to separate from her: Thus he is neither able to renounce her nor to endure her. His position is like that of one who came to the Prophet* and said, “0 Messenger of God, I have a wife who cannot turn back a touching hand.” The Prophet said, “Divorce her”; to which he replied, “I love her.” The Prophet responded, “Then, keep her.”“ The Prophet commanded him to hold onto her, for if he divorces her he would yearn for her and become corrupt like her. Seeing that the man's heart was in anguish, he [the Prophet] considered it preferable for him to continue his mar­riage and thus safeguard himself against corruption. If her faith be corrupted in squandering his possessions or in some other respect, he will remain in misery. [However,] if he remains silent and does not denounce [her deeds], he becomes a partaker of her transgression and a violator of the Almighty's command: “Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire.” If he, on the other hand, denies and disputes [her ways],_, he will be miser­able throughout his life.

For that reason, the Messenger* of God took pains in en­couraging people to adhere to the faith saying, “A woman may be married either for her possessions, her beauty, her reputa­tion, or her religion; for if you do marry other than a religious woman, may your hands be rubbed with dirt [taribat yadak].”²¹ Another hadith states: “He who marries a woman for her pos­sessions and beauty loses both her beauty and her possessions; [but] he who marries her for the sake of her faith will be blessed by God with her possessions and her beauty.”²² The Prophet* also said, “A woman should not be married [only] for her beauty, because her beauty may destroy her; neither for her wealth, as this may make her tyrannical; [rather] marry the woman for her religious faith.”²³ He emphatically recom­mended religious faith, because such a woman would bolster up the [husband's] faith. If she is not pious, she will be an element of distraction and of trouble in her husband's religion.