Concerning the etiquette of marriage

Concerning the etiquette of marriage: 

The engagement should be arranged with a guardian, not during the legally prescribed waiting period ('iddah) of the woman, but rather after its termination if the woman is observing such a period, and provided that she is not already engaged to another, since an engagement while another is pending is forbidden.' 

Proper etiquette requires an engagement [period] prior to marriage, and associating the expression of praise [to God] with the declaration and the acceptance; thus the one giving the woman in marriage says, “Praise be to God and blessings upon the Messenger of God. I give you my daughter, so and so, in marriage”; and the husband replies, “Praise be to God and blessings upon the Messenger of God. I accept her in marriage upon this dowry (sadaq).” Let the dowry be fixed and small. It is also desirable to pronounce the words “Praise be to God” before the engagement. Its etiquette includes that the affairs of the husband be revealed to the wife; if she is a virgin, this is more appropriate and more conducive to congeniality between them. For that reason it is desirable that he should look at her before marriage, as it is more likely to lead to enrichment of their relationship.

Its etiquette also calls for the presence of a group of righteous people in addition to the two witnesses who are required to establish the validity [of the contract]. The etiquette also specifies that the intent of marriage should be upholding the sunna, averting the eye, bearing children, and the rest of the aforementioned advantages; thus the purpose of marriage will not be merely for pleasure and enjoyment, which would render such an act a worldly endeavor. This does not preclude such intentions, for many a virtue coincides with passion. 'Umar b. 'Abd al- 'Aziz*³ declared: “If virtue coincides with passion, it is like `butter with dates' “ (al-zubadu bil-nirstydn).' It is not impos­sible that one should be motivated by his desires and the dictates of religion simultaneously. It is desirable that the marriage be contracted in the mosque and during the month of Shawwal.⁵ 'A'ishah^*8 said, “The Prophet* married me in Shawwal, and consumated the marriage in Shawwal.”'