Virginity

[QUALITIES CONDUCIVE TO A HAPPY CONJUGAL LIFE]

[Virginity]

The sixth quality is that she should be a virgin. The Prophet* said to Jabir, who had married an unwed deflowered woman, “Would that she were a virgin so you could daily with her and she with you.”⁵⁴ Virginity has three advantages:

(a) First, the virgin will love the husband and feel close to him, which will favorably influence their conjugal attachment. The Prophet* said, “Marry the loving (woman)”; for the natural disposition is to be attached to the first mate with whom one has had intimate relations. On the other hand, a woman who has experienced men and life may not be satisfied with some of the qualities that differ from those she is accustomed to, and may, therefore, loathe the husband.

(b) Second, it engenders a greater measure of his love for her, as it is a man's nature to be somewhat repelled by a woman who has been touched by another husband; that would contra­dict [a man's] nature regardless of what might be said [to the contrary]. Certain natures find it more repulsive than others.

(c) Third, the virgin does not yearn after the first husband, because, in general, the surest⁵⁵ love is that which is engendered with the first loved one.